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Well another Birthday passes fairly uneventfully, which always pleases me. I had a nice day, and ended it in the pub with some nice people, so I mustn’t grumble. We have a busy few weeks coming up with shows etc to worry about, so I must try and remain focused rather than getting depressed about the passing of time (And all of its crimes). I am amazed at the amount of paperwork involved in selling a house, and how much duplication there is. I thought the idea was to get rid of all of the red tape, but it would appear there is more than ever to me.
I have a hangover that I used to get after a REALLY heavy night out. Bearing in mind it was a quiet one with a few drinks, I think I can safely say that I can’t do it any more…perhaps not such a bad thing.
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One of positivity, and it has been long overdue. After a frustrating and infuriating day spent dealing with idiots, it was heartening to see a few lights at the end of a series of tunnels. Our forthcoming move to Flitwick which at times today looked to be off, is a source of a bit of optimism for me. I will have my own dedicated office come study, which is very near the kitchen. Our plans are such that we will need to be a lot more organised, and as I do the lion’s share of the cooking, it is handy to have an office near the Kitchen. There is a local and affordable Gym. Now this might make one or two people chuckle, but since I gave up smoking over 5 years ago, I have been out of shape! Starting smoking is not an option, so I am keen to try fitness! I will be two minutes walk from a mainline Railway Station, which opens up my horizons somewhat in terms of my writing, and research. I will be able to visit the old haunts of my family, and the old family house in Islington in which a long line of envelope folders and imbeciles lived. We will be debt free. I have to keep repeating that….Debt free! I got into debt pretty much on my first working day. That was the 17th September 1984. Pretty much 26 years of debt wiped out. I’m not sure quite how that is going to feel, but I feel sure I will report on it at length.
I have just noticed that whilst writing this post, that my Birthday has gone and crept up on me. Well Happy Birthday to me. I realised half way through this year that I had mistakenly been telling everyone that I was still 42, rather than 43…I now realise that I am far too old, and will be deliberately continuing this trend in the near future. 44 sounds quite old to me come to think of it. This fits in with my current mid life crisis, and I shall continue to get some mileage from it I feel sure. So my last year has been a good one overall. Old friendships rekindled, big decisions made, good drama of the right kind, and a little bad drama of the wrong kind. Not bad. Here’s to the next one dear reader.
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Today, I will be mostly trying to stay calm in the face of increasing pressure to do otherwise. I am reacting calmly to the request that I need to write up notes about my soon to be ex-dog, in an almost living obituary, to make him sound attractive to any other owners. I will laugh in the face of losing a second cast member from a production that is now only a week and a half away. I will smile sweetly whilst explaining to the mother of the aforementioned cast member that whilst I understand that weekends away can be nice, that I have already committed hundreds of pounds to this performance, none of which is refundable. I will laugh heartily with the letting agents, who are expecting a relative or friend to act as a guarantor on our rental, as we are self employed. This is despite our offer to pay the full rental up front. All of this will be a mere frippery in my day of laughter and joy.
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We went to visit a school today that specialises in teaching dyslexic children. We visited it with a view to running a session there, and possibly a Summer School or workshop or two. What we found was the most inspiring, heart warming place, with amazing staff and superb facilities. I have never seen so many books in one place (With the possible exception of a library of course). The owner of this private school puts books everywhere in order to ensure that the kids are not scared by them. I want to be a child again so that I can go there!!!! We will be doing our absolute utmost to ensure that we can be in some way linked to this fantastic institution. More news as and when we get it
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Just realised that the daily updates have not been making it to the blog. I had been emailing them, but for some unknown reason they just sat in the outbox for a week. I am amazed that my mass of readers have not been bombarding me with complaints! All updated now, and hopefully I have got to the bottom of what was causing it!
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A day spent filling out forms. The same information appears to be needed in triplicate by the same people, it is very annoying, very dull, and I spent the day as a miserable sod as a result of it. Mrs Plug kept a respectful distance, and I think I managed to snap out of it by the end of the day. Another thick blanket of snow has covered Bedfordshire. I used to love that feeling of excitement that you got when pulling back the curtains on a day like this, but today, it just blackened my mood even more. I think I may be going through a mini midlife crisis of some sort. I just want to switch off from everything, which is not good when you are self employed. I need a few early nights. My current frame of mind is leading me to stay up late, and I think the tiredness is not helping. I need to make a big effort over the next few days and sort myself out/strap on a pair..or whatever the current phrase may be. Mrs Plug has been fabulous as ever throughout this. The feeling of being completely debt free is a major factor in all of this, but she will be sad to move too, and I think I need to focus a little more on that as well.
Must try harder!
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I was awoken by this at 8.30 this morning. He crept up onto the bed, and I woke to find a paw in the middle of my chest and a smiling dog.
I reacted to this in a non emotional way of course.
I managed to snooze my way through an hour or so, but gave in and drank coffee and read my book. It took my mind off things. It is Jim Bob’s story of Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, and their rise and fall. I loved them, and continue to do so, and this is a fascinating and funny insight into it all. He’s a really good bloke in my opinion, and I shall spend the rest of the weekend with it as my soundtrack.
Afternoon spent catching up with housework, in preparation for Spurs to add to my woes. Fortunately, they won 3-0 away, and therefore the weekend was not a complete washout.
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Continuing with the miserable theme, we broke the news about the dog to youngest today. I had been dreading it, and it was met with the expected sobbing. The poor kid really is going through it, and I really hope she can come to terms with the whole moving thing. We really do have to do it. The girls decided to go off to Staffordshire for the rest of the weekend for a change of scenery, and I helped with the get out at the Panto. I hope I can sleep a bit in the morning. I’m struggling to be motivated to do anything at the moment, which is also pissing me off. This is supposed to be a positive move for all of us, and I can only see the negatives at the moment.
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Got a text last night from Amdram mob. The Panto was opening last night, and whilst we have done a load of stuff behind the scenes, it was always the plan that we would not be heavily involved because of the important Birthday. The text told us that one of the lead actors had suffered a heart attack. We rushed straight there just to see if we could help. I was worried about the kids involved in the show, many of whom I think of as our babies. It was a dreadful, upsetting way to end the day. All the reports are that he is going to be fine….but I just cannot wait for the week to end.
Mrs Plug and youngest have arranged to visit the new place today. They seemed strangely underwhelmed by it, and as a result I saw a chink of light and got the slightest hint that we might be able to keep the dog. This was of course dashed fairy soon afterwards, when we talked at length and decided it was definitely the right thing to do. We went and saw the panto in the evening, and I went to bed sobbing. Pathetic really, but all my life I wanted my own dog, and now he has been taken away after just over a year. The six year old boy inside me is jumping up and down screaming that it’s not fair.
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Despite the dreadful situation yesterday, We went and saw Richard Herring last night for my Birthday treat. He is a very funny, very clever comedian, who I just happen to love. It was difficult to go out and try to laugh, when all I wanted to do was sit at home and sulk. We managed it though, and had a lovely evening all things considered.
It is eldest’s 16th birthday today. I’m sure it is clichéd to say it, but the time has passed too quickly. She is of course, the apple of my eye, and I don’t think she will ever fully understand how much I love her. With my little bereavement yesterday, I didn’t want to spend her birthday moping about either the dog, or the fact that I feel like I am losing her, and I think I managed to be all happy and celebratory. I suspect that one day she will tell me I was a miserable git on her birthday, and that it was “only a dog”. She’s good like that, and I love her.
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